Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The whitest kids you know.

Hey Snow White, it's gonna be alright, its gonna be alright.

Bonjour, mon amis. Due to Seattle being crippled by 2 inches of snow, my office has declared today a snow day. So naturally, I'm spending this lovely day inside updating my blog and watching hour upon hour of Sports Center. Btw, while we're on sports, if you haven't read this Onion article yet, definitely check it out. Talk about ruining your legacy. In other sports news, the Saints play the worst Cowboys team in decades on Thanksgiving Day. I have a lot to be thankful for this year, but I'm pretty sure that I will be most thankful for the asskicking we will deliver to that multi-pack of douches who call themselves "America's team".

I've made it no secret that I often feel disconcerted by the crazy homogenity of white people in the PacNW, or, as I've been known to call it, "The Great White North". Over the past few months, however, I've found that some of the whiteness has been rubbing off on me. I'd like to share a vignette that display my lack of immunity to the whiteness contagion. I've provided companion links to stuffwhitepeoplelike.com to further show the severity of my condition.

As few weeks ago, I was taking a break from work at my bilingual office and decided to do some reading on the online independent newspaper because I've grown to hate reading CNN and MSNBC news. Wile Perusing The Stranger (Seattle's gay-friendly newspaper), I saw that the Seattle Shakespeare Company was performing an avant-garde production Hamlet that very night. As a former theater-geek, I felt the instant need for a spontaneous date night. Kev and I bundled up(me in my colorful scarf and pea coat and he in his North Face jacket) and had a quick bite to eat (VERY nearly stopping at a Thai-fusion place, but ended up going to get margaritas instead -- what can I say, cheap booze trumps classy any day) before taking the Monorail over to the Seattle Center to see the play. Because noone in Seattle actually rides the Monorail, we got seats in the very front and I felt all the anticipation of a little kid about to ride Space Mountain for the first time. I actually enjoyed the monorail. Even though it's only function is to take people directly between two points in the city with no other stops, you can't beat the view.
This train is bound for glory.

It ended up being a fantastic production, probably the finest version of Hamlet I've ever seen. The actor in the titular role gave a stunning performance, so much so that I would go see a theatrical production of the Aristocrats just to see him perform again.

In other news, Kev's birthday was last week. In celebration, I booked a aurprise weekend getaway to this amazing four-star lodge overlooking Snoqualmie Falls. This place is amazing.
I know what you're thinking: Zombie apocolypse hideout, right? Complete with two fully stocked bars and a hydroelectric plant. Jackpot.


The waterfall throws out a thick mist in all directions. Walking to this overlook gets you soaking wet, but the view is totally worth it.



The standard room comes with a King bed, fully stocked wood-burning fireplace and two-person jetted tub. I must have taken 5 baths in the 24 hours we were there.

Area woman reports fire to be warm, pretty.

And, of course, what's a birthday without a copious amount of booze?
It's a celebration, bitches.

I also booked us a couple's fireside heated river rock massage. Aside from this being his birthday present, it was also my way of convincing him that dating me can have its benefits...sometimes.

The snow began to fall just as we were heading out of the canyon back to the city. On Sunday night. And it didn't stop until just before sunrise this morning. All of the news stations were like: "OMG! Look at the pretty snow!" But no one really said anything about how long it would last, or if anything in the city would be closed. Seattle really does have the worst weather-predicting power of anywhere in the country. Apparently, the city's ability to deal with snow is even worse. A lot of businesses began closing midday (including Kevin's) and a few more begrudgingly let their employees go home a half-hour early (if we "really felt like it was necessary"). I, of course, high-tailed it as soon as I got the green light, only to wait for the bus for about 2 hours. We even decided to go get something to eat and come back, but still had to wait about 45 minutes after dinner before a bus came by to take us home. Arrived home after 9pm, which wasn't that bad considering some of my coworkers didn't get home until 4am because they were trapped on the freeway. So pretty much, we strong-armed our bosses into closing the office today. And you have them to thank for this delightfully perfunctory post. Also: pictures of snow!

Downtown Seattle. Blinged out with ice.



When I was your age, I had to walk home. In the snow. Uphill. Both ways. Selling Matchsticks along the way.



I can do this because I'm wearing my super-white gore-tex outdoorwear waterproof shoes!



Making a snow angel after receiving specific and careful instructions from Kevin on the proper procedure. Also: Birthing a yarny-tentacled beast from my navel.



My snow angel. Or a headless Gumby? You decide.



Kevin laughing at my snow-awe. What a jackass. Doesn't he know this picture means he's going to get killed by that chick from the Ring?


Lindsey Lohan, Charlie Sheen and that dude from Scarface had a party on our balcony.

Winter Wonderland.


This morning, I took this picture instead of going to work. Productivity level maxed out for the day.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Hello darkness, my old frenemy.

Hey y'all. So I know it's been a ridiculous amount of time since my last post. For both of my loyal readers, I apologize. Things have been kicked into high gear at work lately, and the hours I've been putting in at the office (and the out-of-office hours I've been putting into beating all three God of War games) have made me awful about keeping in touch with my friends and family. In my defense, beating God of War 3 was fucking rad:
Say it with me: ZEEEUUUUUUUSSSSSSS!!!!!

Allow me to give you a brief recap of the last 3 months:
Late August: Last soccer game of the season. Low point: my team was knocked out of post-season contention after a loss to the whiniest bunch of dive-taking asshats I've seen since the Netherlands lost the World Cup. High point: I set up the last goal scored for the season in the last minute of our last game. Booted it down field into the expectant feet of our finest forward. I've got the power; thank god he had finesse.
September 9-13: Trip to New Orleans to visit family & friends. Got to have an evening with the old posse and came very close to quitting job and never returning to Seattle, much to the future chagrin of this blog's stalwart fans. Both of them. Instead, was persuaded to be responsible and return to the PacNW upon promises of many future returns to the Crescent City.
September 19: Turned 25. Presents abound; as does my despair that I am old enough to rent a car. Last cool birthday before feeling old: check.
October 2: Fresh Ale Hop Festival in Yakima, WA. Met Portland-based buddies for day of trinking ales with freshly-picked hops. Aromas were lovely. Hangovers: universally painful.
October 3: Attempt to climb some major mountain trails aborted due to intense fog in Rainier National Forest. Climbed lesser trail, subsequently suffered lesser pain in lower calves.

We can't stop here...this is bat country!


Money shot from alternate hike. CHING.


Descending decently.



Gettin my climb on.

October 16: Both our hearts broken when an awesome house we had just looked at went under contract before we got home and could make an offer. Lingering hatred for the house-hunting process persists to this day.
October 29-November 8: Have to put in such long hours at work that I forget what the sun looks like. Thanks to daylight savings time and the northern latitude, it is now pitch-black even when I leave work at 5. The night-owl in me likes being awake at night, but not when it's dark for 16 hours a day. I feel like I'm living in 30 Days of Night.

If only I could actually watch Josh Hartnett turn to ash in real life.....sigh.

On the bright side, I made friends with a seagull who taps on my window everyday at lunch time so I can feed him a cracker. I named him Seymour. Having flashbacks to reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull as a child, and experiencing few qualms about living vicariously through a winged scavenger. Find the sun, Seymour!
Suddenly Seymour is standing beside me...

That brings us just about up to the present time. All my major court submissions are in and I finally feel like I have cleared enough files off my desk to the point that my cubicle is no longer a fire hazard. At home, we have been cooking pretty regularly and trying new recipes from Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking, which is pretty much to Italian food what Julia Child's books are to French food.

Meryl Streep, eat your heart out.

I mentioned it cursorily earlier, but househunting blows. For some reason, even though the rest of the country is in "PLEASE BUY MY HOUSE I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING" mode, the Seattle bubble hasn't seemed to have popped yet; at least not in sellers' minds. Even though all the data is saying the market isn't going to rebound anytime soon, whoever is selling this piece of shit thinks $400,000 is a fair price. While that may be an extreme example, houses up here are almost universally overpriced by like $30 to $50 thousand. It was fun to laugh at when we first started looking for houses, but now we just get depressed by the lack of reasonable options.

I'm going to try to be better about posting...but also staying in touch with everyone in less impersonal ways. Like calling or (MAYBE) visits. I miss you all.