Splice of life

Well Portland, Oregon and slow gin fizz,
If that ain't love then tell me what is.
-Loretta Lynn

If you can, picture Mardi Gras. Only take away the wanton drinking in the streets. And the shocking, hilarious costumes. And the parades. And the bitching music. And the New Orleans setting. Pretty much, just imagine ridiculous crowds super concentrated in one area, all watching the same thing. You have Seattle's SeaFair. I used to live in Pensacola, FL (home of the Blue Angels) so stunt flying isn't exactly a novelty for me. Also, Kev & I don't know anyone with a boat or $3 million lakefront property, so attending SeaFair this year would have meant squeezing onto about 6 square inches of public waterfront parks with the other million people with the same idea and lack of tangible wealth. So, instead of dealing with massive crowds and the first really rainy weekend since the Fourth of July, we decided to go hang out in Portland for the weekend. It's only about a 2.5 hour drive from Seattle, and both Kev and I have friends living there. Who are also big fans of beer. Beers with friends. Friends with beers. Friends friends friends. Beers beers beers.

While walking around Portland, I realized exactly what I miss so much about New Orleans. I've only lived in Seattle for just over 2 months now, but I've tried to make an effort to check out a lot of neighborhoods and different parts of town. Seattle has a lot going for it. Whether I'm exploring the the Puget Sound waterfront during my lunch break, stuck in traffic for an hour on my way to an evening soccer game or scoping the net for weekend activities, I find myself thinking "Jesus. I live in a big city". But it wasn't until visiting Portland that I figured out what Portland has that Seattle is missing: a homey street cafe culture. There are so many stretches of Portland with neighborhood bars and cafes with patios and outdoor seating, situated in the middle of funky neighborhoods with people walking about on their way to the grocery store or to hang out with friends after work. New Orleans has it in spades. And I really miss it. Seattle is just so big and the streets are so heavily trafficked and wide and noisy that I haven't found a district that's chill and friendly and funky and full of places to just kick back and have a drink with friends on a patio. Maybe I just haven't found the right neighborhood yet in Seattle. I will definitely keep looking, but that relaxed vibe was something you couldn't miss about Portland...and it will certainly keep me heading back that way in the future.

We drove down to Portland on Saturday morning and spent the afternoon and evening wandering around Portland, trying out four or five different watering holes around town. Naturally, I was impressed with the beer selection and quality in all locales. And the company couldn't have been better. Kev had some lawyery friends from law school that met up with us, and they were hilarious. I met a couple of guys while backpacking through Europe about four years ago who I've stayed in surprisingly good touch with over the years, and they both now live in Portland as well. They, being the avid beer connoisseurs and purveyors of lolz that I know them to be, did not disappoint in bringing the fun, even though we didn't get a lot of hang out time because Kev started feeling old or whatever and wanted to turn in just after midnight (love you, hun). I look forward to finishing our debate on the existence of Sasquatch at some point in the near future.

On Sunday, we got up early and began what can only be described as the longest possible route from Portland to Seattle without heading south. But, the circuitous route was justified because we went to the Elephant Garlic Festival in North Plains, Oregon! I don't know if there are two more beautiful, perfect creations of the almighty Big Bang than the elephant and the garlic. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be an elephant-figurine-collecting old lady in 30 years...my obsession is that permanent. and garlic...who couldn't love it? Forget Flava Flav...garlic is the flavor of love. And, unlike apparently every other woman on the planet, I have no desire to either be a vampire nor fuck one, so I have no problem with the pungent smell of garlic.

Anyway, while there were no ACTUAL elephants at the Elephant Garlic Festival (elephant garlic is actually just a species of garlic that grows in bulbs the size of a baby's head), the idea of splicing two of my favorite nouns was too much to pass up.

Heaven.


In the war against the Twilight phenomenon, it's time to pull out the big guns.


The festival featured garlic ice cream, which I REALLY wanted to try, but we saw a couple of people gag while sampling it, so we decided to focus our appetites on more pleasing to the palate, including: elephant garlic caesar salad, elephant ears, garlic parmesan fries, garlic roasted mashed potatoes, garlic butter greenbeans, garlic sesame chicken, and frozen nutty bars.

Before.


After. Man: 1 - Food: 0


This is my best "trumpeting elephant" impression. I've got the ears down, but I think it's more convincing with the accompanying sound.


The festival also had a hay-seated alcohol area which served surprisingly tasty garlic beer, hosted a charming rock-a-billy band, and offered a cautionary tale about the dangers of crack.


Fat and happy, we drove along the Oregon coast up into Washington on our way back to Seattle, stopping briefly in Astoria, Oregon, where Steven Spielberg's finest film was made: The Goonies.

What, like you didn't think Schindler's List was a fucking downer?


Foreground: Astoria. Background: The Bridge of the Gods.


Astoria was quite pretty, but gloomy even by PacNW standards. It was about another 3-4 hours from Astoria to Seattle, making the trip back about 7.5 hours all together. Checking out the coastline was definitely worth it, though. Oregon is a beautiful state...if they'd only get over that weird "you can't pump your own gas" law, it would be a pretty solid state.

This technically isn't a picture from our weekend in Portland, but i wanted to include it anyway because it made me happy. If I can't have sun when I want it, my boo gets me sunflowers.
Last week was our first anniversary ::awwwwwwwwwwww:: and Kev surprised me with a lovely bistro dinner and a gorgeous late-summer bouquet. Be jealous.


Stay tuned next week for a tirade on house-hunting in lovely metropolitan Seattle!